PL's Land

 

I went to a factory today. It's south of the Qinglin Mountain range. On the way back, when driving throught the mountain range, the beautiful autumn colours caught my eyes. Oh, I should try to go there this weekend! Let's pray for me...

I once told a friend I have many little targets in life but never a big one. This is because small targets are easier to achieve and big one is stressful. He doesn't agree, saying that targets should be something difficult to achieve and must work hard for them. I told him nowadays, "taking day off" is my "target".

 

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Yang called this morning.  I am amaszed that he felt like nothing had happened. I don't like this way of handling issues - running away from them and pretend problems are resolved the next day. I can also act like him - take it as if nothing happened. However, the problem still exists and if not resolves, it will turn into bigger problem. I wonder how long can this last???!!!

 

Busy, busy, busy!!! There are so many things to do. Piles of backlog!!!

 

Tire. tire, tire!!! Long day every day. Never ending works...

 

Focus, focus, focus!!! Stay focus and handle things one-by-one.

 

 

4 October 2009

 

生立军说的对，世上是找不到100%理想的人，没有两个一样的人，我们也不可能和自己结婚。既然是两个不一样的人，想法、处事、态度不一是必然的，意见不合、争吵是难免的。既然如此，如果要能和睦相处，包容和沟通就是关键。

 

从科学角度：他是男，我是女；他以右脑为重，我以左脑主。从文化教育和成长环境：他接受了中国特色的共产思想教育，赶上了文革末期，经过了世人没经过的中国改革开发 --- 一个矛盾却又令人惊讶的年代。我接受的是融合了浓厚的殖民时代留下的制度、马来政治色彩以及老祖宗在文革前带过来的中华文化。性格上他内向、含蓄，我叛逆、好胜。光是这些因素就足以构成连串的矛盾和误解，如果不能好好沟通和包容，根本就可能相处。

 

有建设性的争吵何尝不是沟通呢？但他不爱争吵，认为那是包容。我不认同，个人认为只有通过沟通才能了解，了解了就自然就能包容。不理解、不接受却一味包容只会埋没问题，隐藏危机：一来问题没解决，二来问题爆发时就说不清了。所谓冰冻三尺非一日之寒，很多时候包容和逃避是一线之差，但结局却天壤之别。

 

生立军说身边很多朋友都是吵吵闹闹过日子的，婚前很少吵架的夫妇反而更快离婚。他也劝我不要冲动，没有绝对、没有对错，要我注意态度。争吵时对方往往不在乎对错，有理不一定能说清，但态度却很重要，因为对方只看到态度。我同意，也知道很多时候自己态度很强硬，令人很难接受，我接受批评，也乐意改进。我已经很注意了，但还是不够细心。我需要帮助，需要别人提醒。话又说回来，还是需要沟通。

 

沟通是门学问，一时半会儿也说不清，就是说清了，做起来也不容易。至少我争取、我尝试。那他呢？

 

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